ccyq2402 发表于 2021-2-20 06:11:35

那年今日_1

那年今日
怀旧空吟闻笛赋,到乡翻似烂柯人。一直想写点什么,却始终不愿拿起笔。也许是天气太冷,不想去拿笔吧。亦或许是,不忍心去看原来本中的一些东西吧。突然想起了曾经记录过东西的一个网站。信息化的时代,也不必执拗于笔与纸了,即便少了种仪式感,真情依然不会减一分。
一直以为,只在这个网站写过一篇,不想又看到了两篇日记。原来那年那日,我也有过梦想,我也那样的狂。现在读来,不禁惭愧脸红。没有了热血拼搏的雄心壮志和勇气,少了当初的诗和远方。六年时光,竟然可以使人发生如此的改变。当初不知道的是,这个网站写的日记竟然也是对外公开的。不知道自己当初是有意为之还是没有意识到这一点呢?亦或者,现在没有了当初说出自己梦想的勇气,不敢相信自己有勇气公开自己的梦想,现在只是觉得狂妄自大。往事种种,似乎皆在眼前,想拾取一段记忆,看清里面是什么,却又是一片模糊。看着以前的文字,现在文笔之差,也是一言难尽,也只能感叹大不如六年前。
看着以前的四篇文章,我依然记得有一篇是记录一条我特别喜欢的小狗的。只记得当时特别的难受,具体细节都已忘却。我还会写一篇,来记录另一条狗,只是没有了当初的悲伤难受,只有些遗憾。还有两篇是,记录自己的目标的。不敢仔细去看,当初的目标显然是没有实现。不过,现状还勉强可以。去了当初想去的城市,过着轻松自在又有诸多选择的大学。另外一篇是写自己当初的一些感情。依然能记起那段时光和那些冲动。当初的理智告诉我要抑制住那些冲动,不知道当初有没有后悔和,现在的我自然是没有后悔,甚至渐渐无感。如今,梦中,我也分不清了是她还是她。
目前的我,仍有诗与远方 ,仍有梦想。我知道,这些东西是在我小的时候就被深深打下的烙印,它们没有随时间而消失,而是历久弥新。改变的只是当时的心态罢了,初心未变。佛曰,不可说,不可说啊。
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